LA Mayoral Hopeful Caruso Allowing Unhoused to Roam Free at the Grove

LOS ANGELES, CA—Rick Caruso spent millions of his own money to flood the mailboxes of Angelenos with political ads. Still, his last-ditch effort to woo voters before the November election is raising even more eyebrows. Caruso's signature property, a luxury open-air shopping mall called The Grove, located in the heart of Los Angeles, is the site of a pilot program designed to move unhoused Angelenos off the streets and into the lap of luxury. "The Grove is a beacon of aspiration," says Caruso, "We want to give the unhoused a sense of community. During the day, we offer free medical care and a needle exchange program. At night we offer free stays in our covered parking lot. If elected, I'll build a replica Grove in the Valley where we can serve even more unhoused." Karen Bass, Caruso's political opponent, decries the program as insensitive and dehumanizing. "How will putting a tent next to a damn Nordstrom solve our homeless crisis? Bass, who has accepted campaign money from the Chruch of Scientology, offered a much simpler plan: "As Mayor, I'd declare an emergency and bring in the national guard to set up FEMA camps in West Covina."